I went to Ikea today to replace the things that got lost and broken in my previous years at Uni. It's a nightmare of a shop! Firstly there's the fact that you have to walk bloody miles around their silly grey path that weaves about everywhere so you end up walking at least twice as far as you need to. Secondly if you, as I had done, have looked through the catalogue and decided what you want then good luck finding it. It's not even as if you can ask the staff were to find it because once you have finally managed to locate one
(though finding rocking horse poo would be an easier task) you can't even ask them where to find the item because the Scandinavian names are seemingly unpronounceable. If ever you do find the range of products you pre-selected you find that there is an entire range of almost identical products bearing the name you scribbled down with very little to tell you which is the reasonably priced product you desire and which product is the one that the costs 3 times more than the item is worth. If by some miracle it is clear which product is which, I found it was only because those "bargain bowls" are only suitable for use by a family of pixies they're so small.
Once you have found, and identified your items you only have a further 3 miles to find a checkout
(and an exit for that matter I'd hate to be there in the event of a fire) where half the staff at the are pretending that their tills are closing. Once find someone who is serving and join a queue you always happen to be behind a customer that spends 3 hours finding their purse in their handbag and deciding which credit card to pay with, followed by an agonising 2 hours while they try to remember their PIN with a grotesque self satisfied grin when they eventually remember it as though you're meant to give them a round of applause for the finale. You're just wondering whether to give up, put your stuff back and go home empty handed when it's finally your turn. The cashier scans your items, you pay with the correct money
(some of us realise that checkouts require payment and have already totalled up how much we have spent and prelocated our payment) then you realise that they don't even give you a damn carrier bag so you just have to prey you dont drop your stuff on the way back to the car.
I'm baffled as to why some people appear to be so fond of this shopping hell!